Heavenly Peace

By Heather Ledeboer | Category: The Journey of Motherhood

She got the call today, one out of the grey
And when the smoke cleared, it took her breath away
She said she didn’t believe 'it could happen to me'
I guess we're all one phone call from our knees

Lyrics from "Closer To Love" by Mat Kerney

Mom, Heaven is our real home right?
This one (touching the wall) is just for a little bit.

Ashlyn Ledeboer, age 4

God thank you that heaven will be a perfect place.

Prayer by Hunter Ledeboer, age 6

I think about death
a lot.

I daydream about heaven
every day.

Heather Ledeboer

We talk about heaven a lot in our home.  Losing Sawyer opened up the door of eternal perspective and made the reality of heaven relevant and personal.  Ashlyn in particular likes to converse with me on the topicShe likes to talk about what it will be like and what she wants to do when she gets there.  We talk about the fact that Jesus is there working on getting it ready for us and when it is ready he will come back for us.  She is hoping that he is building a castle for her.  She likes to think about who she will see there and who she will talk to.  She plans to introduce Mary (you know, the mother of Jesus) to Nanie (her great-grandmother who died 2 years ago).  She theorizes about what might be there and is a little nervous that her Eeyore won't be there if she doesn't take him.  She wonders if she should try to bring Sawyer his stuffed animal or if he already has one there.

When everything is ready, I [Jesus] will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.  John 14:3


Death may be a hard reality to accept, but it is a reality.

Truly living seems to be optional.

Sawyer's death has inspired me to be more intentional about the living part.  Deciding what truths I want to leave with my kids and how to go about the challenge of challenging them to discover what life is all about and what role God has for them is my distinct intention.  My challenge is to be intentional about making sure they know not only how deeply I love them, but that God's unconditional love for them will never fade.

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jeremiah 31:3

The more I think about death, the more I am inspired to instill God's life-giving truth into our family.  The scar that Sawyer's death left on my heart has branded the reality of sin's affect on our world.  I cannot deny that things are not "right" with the world.  I cannot pretend that everything is ok.  Something has gone terribly wrong and everything is slowly falling apart around us.  To deny this would be either delusional or ignorant.  I have faith.  I have hope.  I have a Savior who has overcome the world and that is where I place my trust and bring my wounded heart for comfort and peace.

I [Jesus] have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

Two years ago today I was told that my son Sawyer was no longer alive.  But if you ask anyone in our family they will tell you that this life is is "just for a little bit" anyway.  "Heaven is our real home," and there he is very much alive.

I love you sweet son.  Say hi to Jesus for us.

Heather Ledeboer

I am a Christian, wife, mom and the original founder of Mom 4 Life. Now that Ashley owns Mom 4 Life, I am focusing my energies in homeschooling and asking God to use me in other areas.

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Posted Wednesday, May 5, 2010

15 Responses to “Heavenly Peace”

  1. Very comforting and inspiring, Heather.

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  2. Heather, you have such a gift with words. I love reading anything you write! This is beautiful and so true. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers today!

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  3. I remember following your blog two years ago when I learned about Sawyer. I was in awe of your faith and trust in the Lord. I lean on God everyday and thankful for the shelter He brings. Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts with us. God bless you and your family.

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  4. Making me cry…. a good cry….

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  5. Thank you so much for your support ladies, I am so blessed.

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  6. Beautiful, and beautifully said. Thank you so much for sharing this and blessing so many others through your walk in faith.

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  7. What a beautiful post…thank you for sharing.

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  8. Heather, this is beautiful and something I really needed to hear today. It’s been 18 months (+) since Seth went to Heaven and I”m still trying to find that ability to INTENTIONALLY live.. Thank you!

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  9. Well, a good cry never hurts anyone. This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this.

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  10. i love that you can dialogue with your kids like that. i think parents are afraid to have converstations like this with thier children. and i think it makes children fear death, instead of thinking of it as a beautiful next step to meeting Christ.
    praise Jesus that we don’t have to fear the grave.

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  11. Tears have filled my eyes…
    You are so right and wise. My husband deals with death (or telling a patient a fatal diagnosis) almost every day at work. Sometimes, he calls out of the blue and says, “Hug the kids for me.” Life is so fleeting. It is so fragile. Thanks for the reminder to live on the moment today. We’ve had a hard day behavior wise, and I am prone to complain on days like today. I need to step back and thank God for the little ones that fill my arms.
    I love that you say earth is our home “just for a little bit”. That is beautiful.

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  12. Thank you everyone.
    Kathryn,
    Thank you for commenting. I am so deeply sorry for your loss, there are simply no words!
    Jami,
    I agree with you. I doubt we would have these types of conversations with our kids if it were not for Sawyer’s death. I am thankful for them and for the lessons that we are able to learn together through our loss.
    Kendra,
    Your words are so true, life is so fleeting and fragile! The more I wrap my mind around that the easier it is to keep things in their proper perspective.

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  13. Heather, thinking of Sawyer with you today.
    Ashlyn’s quote is maybe one of the most amazing things I can imagine a child saying. I hope that when the time comes, Nate and I will be able to help Jonas understand our eternal home being heaven, not this world.
    As someone who tends to look at the glass half empty, I appreciate your willingness to come right out and say that there is something wrong with this world and things do fall apart.
    May God’s peace be with you and the family today!

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  14. Thank you so much Becca.

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